Delusions of Grandeur No More

I had a moment today. A moment where my past and my future, which I have held separate for so long, collided and it gave me a glimpse of what is possible. A moment that was 30 years in the making but it was worth it.

I have a new job, a job where I’m passionate about the product and I feel proud to go to work every day. Finally, I made it to the big leagues, to television where everything is shiny and nice, to the crème de la crème of all networks, the one that people salivate over, the cool kids club that everyone aspires to get into. I keep thinking that they let me in by accident, that sooner or later they will discover what they’ve done but today, today I realized that I do belong and they don’t even know what I’m gonna bring them next.

We all know that I used to do tricks on horses, I know that it gave me the experience of a lifetime, that there are so many things that I learned by traveling the world, that I have a competitive spirit and that I can apply all of these skills to the real world. But I never feel like my experiences matter, I have delusions of grandeur that I was a “someone” and that I can’t find my place in the real world because of it. But today I did. On the new project that I’m working on the producer asked me to a script review meeting. I did my “job” assessed the scripts from the clients point of view, made sure we had delivered on everything promised. But the creatives weren’t satisfied, they wanted to push the limits, show the real world a believable character, an elite athlete torn between her career and a social life. I spoke up, I said I know what that’s like, and I can speak from experience. And so I told my story and the producer loved it, not as some fairytale fable but as a REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE, one that many women face and that should be told by our character. Today my experiences shaped something that is going on our network and I am proud. I used my past life to shape my future and I realized that it’s possible. It’s possible to feel the joy as I used to performing in the arena for a big crowd, I was proud that I was able to help shape something that I believe in so strongly and I’m going to continue shaping everything I work on..

So I dedicate this blog to all of the strong women that have helped shape my life. My mentors: my mom, Emma, Stacey, Peggy and the ones still to come. To all my girlfriends that have stuck with my through thick and thin, listening to my delusions of grandeur: Kristi, Jaime, Kim, Kelly, Shannon, Elina and last but not least my boys: the ones that keep me on my toes and in the real world: Vern, Will and my love, Eliott.