The New Male Escort

The other day I enjoyed quite an interesting debate with a few male friends about male and female strip clubs. They were trying to convince me that male and female strip clubs are no different, that women just as men want to see the "goods," or the "junk"(this is my new favorite word for the penis). Quick side note that one of these men had the occasion to attend a male strip club when I took my best friend to one in Las Vegas for her birthday (ok, he is my ex and I made him go with me). Now I am sure that you are all wondering if this was the end of our relationship when I found out he was willing to go to a male strip club and ogle his own kind. In fact, it was not, we went because a friend of mine is a dancer there and offered us free drinks. Yes, once again the lure of free goods, see how compelling it is? And people wonder why marketing just isn't working these days. One only has to promise free alcohol and it will sell like hotcakes.

Ok back to the strip club.

I myself had never been to one with men on parade so I didn't quite know what to expect. I envisioned women in their forties drooling like ravenous dogs trying to get at some fresh meat; I also envisioned impeccably groomed toned pecks and a banana hammock. All of which, by the way, didn't really appeal to me. Give me a toned tanned body on a surfboard any day, I can seriously do without the banana hammock. But anyway, sad to say that it was exactly as I imagine Cliche batchelorette parties, women yes, ravenous for fresh meat. But the thing that amazed me the most was that these women weren't content to just look, they wanted to touch, rub and gyrate with the said performers. Now this was interesting to me. In a female strip club it's look, don't touch. In the male strip club it was all about the TOUCHING!! In fact my lucky friend who was celebrating her birthday actually confirmed said touching and digital penetration even! Armed with these facts, the ex tried to pass it off as a big win for all mankind, saying that women too enjoy the strip club and that it is now an equal playing field, it's a free pass of sorts for men to keep going to the strip clubs because see, he witnessed it, women enjoy it too. But this leads me to argue that it takes a certain kind of woman to go to this place. Men are titillated (yes I said tit) by looking at just about anything but women on the other hand (as observed in person) need that contact to get off, and only a certain kind of woman would in fact frequent a place like that.

This led me to wonder, where are all the other women going? I happened to be jogging on the treadmill at my posh uptown health and racquet club while I was pondering this when I began to notice something. I was surrounded by HOT, TONED male trainers who were training ONLY WOMEN. Maybe I am onto something here. I watched carefully as the trainer explained each movement that the ladies were to do by gently touching their backs, legs and buttocks. Squeeze here, lift here, do the movement like this he says as he wraps an arm around her stomach to help her tilt her pelvis into the perfect anatomical position. And the best comes for those who last through the grueling yes sensual exercise regimen. Then comes ten minutes saved for stretching. Here you are placed on a massage table and contorted into various positions that are only best achieved by the trainer lying directly atop the you. A light bulb came on over my head. Here is where the women go. They come in for their personal training sessions. Personal trainers are the new male escorts. Here women can come to a socially acceptable location to be touched and fawned over for a complete hour. They then can proceed to the nearest shower to finish off armed with the images and sensations of the last hours training session. After all we know that men are visually stimulated, simple creatures that they are. Women however are advanced enough that all it takes is her creative mind to create a fantasy that can last for weeks.