Think About It, You Just Aren't That Into Him Either

I was browsing in Urban Outfitters the other day on my way home from work and I came across an interesting book. It was called, "Face it, you are just not that into him either." Finally, a rebuttal to the worlds worst writteb book ever! I have heard more than enough about the genius book based off the Sex in the City episode where Miranda discovers the answer to why men aren't calling her. They just aren't that into you. I completely disagree with this book; relationships just aren't that black and white. There are always underlying issues.

Take for example this punk rock boy that was always very friendly to me. We met and hit it off. I invited him out for drinks and we had a great time, I tried to continue the date but he had to catch the bus home to New Jersey. I figured that he wasn't interested and planned to move on. After that he continued to instant message me all the time, however, when I would invite him out for activities he would decline. I finally chalked it up to him being not that interested in me and really moved on. Finally after a year, he admitted to me that he had a girlfriend. Out of curiosity I asked him how long they had been together and he said a year. He then said that he had just started to date her when we were hanging out and he wasn't really sure where things were going so he didn't want to start something with me. See! He was into me but he was a nice guy and didn't want to date two girls at one time.

I think that timing is nearly the number one factor in dating. Even if you have the strongest attraction for someone, if it isn't the right time it's never going to work. This leads me to my greatest find. I found a book called "Face it, you're just not that into him either, seriously it's so true, especially in New York. I'm not telling you that it requires a book to make things work but with all of the bullshit we are faced today it's easy to forget that you do deserve a guy that you are happy with. Not Mr. Right Now, or Mr. I'm trying to forget about that asshole, or Mr. I'm proving a point that I can do what I want when I want. But Mr. Right. Mr. I'm supportive of your career and Mr. I think you are sexy even when you are randomly crying.

Take the Giant for example. I went on a mini break with him last weekend. When people asked me how it was when I got back, I replied it was nice, or we had a good time. There were NO fireworks the whole weekend. First of all the night before we left, he called me drunk, concerned that I was taking him for a fool and wasn't even going to show up at all! That already put me on the edge. Then he was pretty anti-social when I introduced him to some people that I knew. And lastly, I still wouldn't sleep with him. He was fabulous for going out to dinner with, or snuggling up in bed or lying by the pool. Yes, those were the things he was good at. But he never really asked me any questions about my past or my family or my career; I asked him lots of questions. Since we have been back he has been surprisingly distant and suddenly I REALLY like him! After skimming the book, it came to my attention that I fall into the "I'm really not into him either but I need for him to like me" chapter. This, the author explains is a sign of an over dater. I date so many boys because I have a need for attention. ME?? Never, kidding, I'm totally aware that I am an attention whore. People sometimes accuse me of looking for a boyfriend and I always get offended because I am never looking; I am just open to social interaction because I love attention. I like meeting new people, the author pointed out that attention cravers never really open themselves up to the possibility of a relationship because by this constant flirtation you don't ever really get to know anyone. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think you need this book either to survive but it does tell you some things that we all know but sometimes forget to remember.

So although the book didn't really solve my problem of the Giant, I still feel sad that he doesn't seem to like me, but I will have to be ok with it, I will stop playing the chase it down game and move on.