Ridiculously Obvious Observations and Other Random Things to Ponder

"Freezing Your Ass Off"

Could someone please tell me where this phrase came from? I can tell you from my recent winter experiences that the direct translation of this just doesn't hold true. I believe that this phrase translates to, "if you are standing in the cold you will in fact get a smaller ass." Nope, not a chance, well, at least not for me. I guess that if you actually stood outside for long enough then it might happen because your body has to work harder to stay warm? Well maybe back in the good ole days but not today. It gets cold and I am racing inside to find somewhere warm and once I get there, not a chance of me leaving. The only thing that is working harder is my arm as it shovels comfort foods like mashed potatoes, pasta and chocolate cake into my mouth. In fact, I can now prove the colder the temperatures drop in NYC the larger my ass becomes! So if you will excuse me, I am going to try my new diet technique out, if you need me I will be standing outside "freezing my ass off!"

"Pennies Not Accepted Here"

Now this is just plain crazy talk! Who doesn't accept pennies? I can understand those establishments that don't accept American Express, but pennies? Come on! Here I am in my favorite coffee shop The Bourgeois Pig and I overhear the owner say, "We don't accept pennies here," are they just to bourgeois to accept them? Since when did the penny lose its status? I mean it is the lowest valued coin but there seems to be something very American about it. After, which coin is it that brings you luck if you find it heads up in the street? Yes, the penny. So all penny lovers please unite and storm The Bourgeois Pig with only pennies for your daily cup of Joe.