A Strategic Plan for the NYC Dating Market

NOTE: The following strategy is not 100% endorsed or recommended by the author as a means to a healthy relationship, those take a long time to be nurtured and grown. This assessment is a satire based on all of the authors ridiculously obvious observations and a few too midnight calls from sobbing girlfriends about “why he didn’t call.”

Dating in NYC is no longer a game. The old cat and mouse rules no longer apply. We women are in a saturated market and need to apply some of the business savvy that we use in the office to our personal lives. The dating market needs to be navigated in the same way that we strategically market products, yes, ladies, we are the product and the men are the client. We must remember

In today's very competitive marketplace a strategy that insures a consistent approach to offering your product or service in a way that will outsell the competition is critical. However, in concert with defining the marketing strategy you must also have a well-defined methodology for the day-to-day process of implementing it. It is of little value to have a strategy if you lack either the resources or the expertise to implement it.

The Dating Landscape

It is a well-known fact that there are more women than men in New York City; we spend countless hours wondering why they do not call us back or why they won’t just commit? The answer is simple, men have too many options and they are unwilling to put forth any effort to get what they want. In a nutshell, they are willing to go for the low hanging fruit knowing that they can easily trade up at a later date. In such a market a Differentiation Strategy is recommended, to set yourself apart from the competitors in the market.

A DIFFERENTIATION STRATEGY is one of creating a product or service that is perceived as being unique "throughout the industry". The emphasis can be on brand image, proprietary technology, special features, superior service, a strong distributor network or other aspects that might be specific to your industry. This uniqueness should also translate to profit margins that are higher than the industry average. In addition, some of the conditions that should exist to support a differentiation strategy include strong marketing abilities, effective product engineering, creative personnel, the ability to perform basic research and a good reputation.

If in fact the differentiation strategy is achieved your product will experience the high profit margins, more dates. Let’s begin with a quick overview of the dating market.

Product Analysis

In marketing any new product a simple SWOT analysis is helpful in determine your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.

SWOT Analysis is a very effective way of identifying your Strengths and Weaknesses, and of examining the Opportunities and Threats you face. Carrying out an analysis using the SWOT framework helps you to focus your activities into areas where you are strong and where the greatest opportunities lie.

By determining these factors you can then easily differentiate your product to the prospective client.

Sample Analysis: What??

Strengths: Funny, Smart, Independent, Unique style and Nice Rack
Weakness: Likes quality dates, nice dinners and movies
Opportunities: Not “looking” for a boyfriend
Threats: Uncontrollable need to tell men what she “thinks”

After careful analysis of what??, in order to differentiate herself, she should rely heavily that she is not “looking” for a boyfriend at this time, this will allow her to maneuver freely throughout the market potentially pitching multiple clients at one time, this will create a certain “demand” for her product creating a perceived “must have” value in the market place. Another differentiation tactic that she should utilize is her independence, she can position this to the client as a positive attribute of the product however understanding the clients need to show off and take care of things this quality will over a short time serve as the closing element of the deal.

Client Analysis

Before going into any meeting you must understand your clients needs. Lets take a quick moment to assess his pros and con’s.

It is essential to understand the market segment(s) as defined by the clients characteristics you have selected as the target for your offering. Factors to consider include:

The potential for market penetration involves whether you are selling to past customers or a new prospect, how aware the prospects are of what you are offering, competition, growth rate of the industry and demographics.

The prospect's willingness to pay higher price because you’re offering provides a better solution to their problem.

The amount of time it will take the prospect to make a purchase decision is affected by the prospects confidence in your offering, the number and quality of competitive offerings, the number of people involved in the decision, the urgency of the need for your offering and the risk involved in making the purchase decision.

The prospect's willingness to pay for product value is determined by their knowledge of competitive pricing, their ability to pay and their need for characteristics such as quality, durability, reliability, ease of use, uniformity and dependability.

Likelihood of adoption by the prospect is based on the criticality of the prospect's need, their attitude about change, the significance of the benefits, barriers that exist to incorporating the offering into daily usage and the credibility of the offering.

Sample Analysis: Actor Man

Background: What?? met the actor man at an event that she was attending. She learned from others that he was a highly successful actor and was currently working on several Broadway productions. They were introduced and then engaged in idle banter next to the crudités and dip, it became clear to her that there was an obvious interest when he told her about his recent breakup. Idle banter is a great way for feeling out the client, in doing this What?? learned several helpful bits of information. Currently he was single (2 months broken up), residing in NYC only until the summer, working on a new Broadway play, loves France and very into working out. He invited What?? to come and see his new show and they exchanged emails.

After reviewing the facts What?? has determined:
1. The actor man would be looking for a product that would provide some short-term companionship during his stay in New York City.
2. Given his profession he is likely to be very busy.
3. The actor man is very serious and finds What?? to be funny and was very interested by her experiences in Paris.

Strategic Plan: What?? will proceed with her differentiation strategy by showcasing her independence and flirty whim to grab his attention.

Stay tuned for the results of this campaign…

Obsessed!

Ok, so I've never been addicted to anything before, but I am beginning to think that I might be addicted to blogging. I find myself with a running blog commentary going through my head as I walk around town. Who do I think I am? Carrie Bradshaw who needs a voice-over to narrarate her life? [I apologize for the blatant Sex in the City reference, I really tried to hold back, I mean I have been blogging for a whole week now and haven't done one! And, I do have to point out that someone posted one in a comment before I did this one! So there...] Anyway, the one thing though that my blog is missing is some interaction with my readers (you know, all 5 of you...).

So I just wanted to put that out there, that I WELCOME your questions and comments. I don't pretend to be an expert on anything except stating the complete obvious!

Talk soon!

The Daily Gossip

This conversation was taken directly from an IM between me, What?? and my friend OfficeGirl.

OfficeGirl: Tee hee....so..... let’s talk about Brazilian boy
OfficeGirl: Is he dark and handsome?
What??: um...
What??: he is a little young, 25
OfficeGirl: did the French waiter call?
What??: NO! OfficeGirl: are you 30?
What??: 28
What??: but the Brazilian boy is funny very boyish like he was totally flirting with other girls when we were at the club
OfficeGirl: so he's not so much younger ...it's funny how that changes once you exceed 30 What??: actually he kissed another girl at the club
What??: but then he just sent her packing
OfficeGirl: hmmm....that is a bit strange but....
What??: and from the second I met him he was like you are beautiful.... you have a nice neck What??: let me get your coat for you...
What??: and then he would button it all the way up
OfficeGirl: lol- nice neck? that's so funny and he had to button you up to protect the neck of course
What??: and then it was snowing and he was like... hold on to me... don’t ruin your shoes OfficeGirl: omg - you're killing me with the snow part
What??: and I had on this long sleeve shirt that would fall of the shoulder and he was like you have great shoulders
OfficeGirl: I think if it's snowing and I'm standing with a male, no matter what, I could fall in love with that male
What??: seriously
OfficeGirl: you're cracking me up
What??: I totally thought I was “in love” with this boy when he slept over
What??: like we were kissing and it was a really good kiss.. you know the kind where you kind of breathe the same breath!
What??: and he was just staring at me in the dark
OfficeGirl: OMG!
What??: and not trying to "get something" from me...
What??: I was so in love with him
OfficeGirl: are you making this up? You’re kidding me!
What??: and then I woke up... and he was trying to stick his tongue in my ear (sooooo 25 year old manuver) and the kissing was BAD
What??: and I was like its time for you to GO HOME!!
OfficeGirl: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHING HALT?
What??: yes
What??: seriously
OfficeGirl: darnit....
What??: what happened?? All of a sudden it was like the spell was over
OfficeGirl: okay, next… so what up with seersucker pants boy?
What??: I know! Seersucker pants boy texted me 3 times last week but then on Sunday when I texted him back he didn’t respond... of course
OfficeGirl: I would like to inside the brain of seersucker boy
OfficeGirl: very odd
OfficeGirl: but cute
What??: yes very odd
What??: I think seersucker pants boy is very insecure young man and he uses that as protection... you know controlling the meetings...
What??: why isn’t that French boy calling me !!!
OfficeGirl: it's like my friend Lorraine was talking about setting me up with her postman...and I was like NO! he's prob such a loser - he's a postman...and then she was like....but he is so nice and he's always so nice to the children....and then I was all mixed up about what kind of guy I'm looking for!
OfficeGirl: or think I’m looking for
What??: I know right??
What??: I am definitely in the "fun" boat right now... but sometimes I meet boys that I think... I wish I could meet you in 5 years when I know I am ready for a husband you know?
OfficeGirl:If French boy doesn't call you - that's weirdness, esp after he kissed you four times!
What??: my idea of a BOYFRIEND and HUSBAND are very different
What??: I know! if he doesn’t call then it just goes to show you that I should stay away from the artsy types (esp the ones that work in the resto biz)
What??: but then I get nervous that he didn’t call cause he saw me leave with Drigo or something
OfficeGirl: really? That sounds healthy - maybe I should try it to make sure I'm not trying to force the husband thing
What??: I don’t know
What??: I feel like I cheated on him and we aren't even talking yet!!!
OfficeGirl: ur 2 funny...
OfficeGirl: CHEATER
What??: I’m not a cheater!! I swear!!
What??: wait, I did once and it was SO yucky...
OfficeGirl: cheaters never prosper
OfficeGirl: just kidding
What??: When I was 19 I had one boyfriend in France and I hadn’t really broken up with the American one yet
What??: oops
What??: anywhoo i totally learned my lesson cause I ended up hurting the American boy and he didn’t deserve that. It was then that I vowed to always be honest.
OfficeGirl: wait, didn't you leave with a group?
What??: no I just left with Drigo but the place was packed, I don’t know if he saw
What??: so I have no idea
OfficeGirl: so can you speak French?
What??: yes but badly OfficeGirl: cool
What??: so when I gave him my number he told me in French that he would call me yesterday and that we could see about meeting up
What??: and I was like totally!
What??: but no... no call
What??: crap crap crap! I will have to go and hang out there I guess later in the week you know to make sure nothings wrong
OfficeGirl: sounds like a good idea - maybe he is being shy?
What??: yea... I think he is pretty shy... but seriously I gave him the number... and he gave me 4 kisses!!
What??: hellloooo!

Nothin But Trouble

So it turns out that the girls had other plans that I didn’t know about. We had arranged to meet at my new self proclaimed “living room” a lovely French joint where I seem to be hanging out a little too much. One can always tell in a foreign establishment when they have made it to “regular” status, that is when they receive kisses upon entry and exit and yes, boy have I made it! Anyway, I’m waiting at the bar, all alone (good thing that I hang out alone all the time so this isn’t really that bad) and I find that one girlfriend is on her way but very late and the other thought she cancelled on me via text (more on this later) and wouldn’t be attending. So, I find myself chillin with the lovely French bartendress Miss Z who has this fabulous way of filling my glass when I’m not looking to insure that I stay there a looooooooong time. Which is quite good since I have also developed a big crush on this boy that works there, I like to call him the “French Waiter.” He always is giving me a million kisses and stopping off by my bar stool to have mini conversations with me, I figured that tonight was the night that I should invite him to do something outside the bar, so I asked him if he wanted to go see a friend play at the Mercury Lounge on Tuesday. He said he would love to but he had to see about another tentative plan and that we should exchange numbers. Yes! I am getting French digits!

When Sandy finally arrived I introduced her to my new best friend Drigo, a fun Brazilian who was “taken” but loved making new friends. After who knows how many glasses of wine and fun conversation Sandy excused herself to go meet the boy of the moment while I invited myself to go dancing with Drigo and his friend, since he had already spend the whole night telling us about his girlfriend I figured he was pretty much be harmless. On the way out I said bye to the French Waiter and gave him my number to call me about Tuesday, after four kisses, yes two on each check and a nice waist squeeze and his assurance that he would call me tomorrow, I was out the door!

Fast forward through hours and hours of salsa dancing with Drigo and his friend the typical “Brazilian Boy” who was flirting with everyone that entered the room. Finally after I was tuckered out and had established myself as the cool girl with the two boys, I asked that they take me home. And since my roommate was out of town I decided it was the perfect opportunity to have a mini after party so, I invited them back to my apartment for some snacks. When we got to my apartment, the Brazilian Boy quickly offered to take care of my tired feet with a much appreciated foot rub, that was nice of him… could I be any more naïve? Probably, Drigo finally excused himself and the Brazilian Boy asked if he could stay over. I wanted to say no but the thought of snuggling with this handsome devil on my day off was far too powerful. So, yes, I let him, but I informed him that, “I'm not having sex with you,” he agreed to my terms and we climbed into bed.

Catching Up

First of all, let me tell you that if I did indeed see any benefits from my crash diet last week, it was all reversed by the one million glasses of bad pinot grigio and the extra large pork chop that I had the night before having to squeeze into said mini cocktail dress. I did, in fact, resemble Betty Boop or maybe even J-Lo, I don’t know which but I am sure that my ass size rivaled theirs at the banquet. Which then prompted a lot of naughty comments by balding older gentlemen that were also attending this stuffy banquet – enough said.

Second, I am so very pleased to return to the big apple on this Sunday morning and am ready for a fabulous mellow girl’s night out tonight. There is really no other place like New York City!

Disconnected

So apparently my super high class historic hotel in Louisville, KY does not believe in high speed internet access. I am currently, disconnected. I feel so lost, so out of touch, so vulnerable! No AIM, no blogging, no email to see if I have been slammed with work since I’m not in the office today. What’s a girl to do? Yes, you are right. Take a nap… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The Anti-Christ

So here I am, on my way to the stuffy banquet in Louisville, KY and stuck in airport hell, LaGuardia on a foggy night, every flight is delayed and there are a million people hanging out at the bar, including myself, who is chowing down on the worlds worst chicken quesadilla ever, which, I am certain is not part of the crash diet plan. Now I don’t really know if my crash diet worked or not; I feel maybe a pound or two lighter, hopefully it will be enough to slither my way into this very snug black satin number that I am supposed to wear, but I do know that I am currently sitting next to the anti-Christ. I am quite sure that whoever you are thinking of right now is not who is actually sitting next to me. I am sitting, smack dab next to a perky, as if she’s had more than her fill of coffee today, Starbucks district manager. Yes, I think that Starbucks is, in fact, the anti-Christ. I mean, don’t get me wrong, who doesn’t love an orange coffee mocha frappuccino (yes people, but that was a Zoolander reference) but do they really have to be on every freaking corner? Blame my psudo hippie upbringing in NorCal but I love the beatnik coffee shop. I love the stragglers, the musicians, the poets that hang, I love the unruly punk kids that always seem to run the joint. Starbucks is now indicative with this “I’ve got it all together look so I must top that off with a coffee.” Look at how many celebrities always top their haute couture off with a paper cup from the coffee joint that’s taking over the world. Recently I heard that Paris Hilton will never be seen wearing black but she will pose with a Starbucks cup in her hand?

The worst part about this scenario is that I’m not even talking to this hyper perky woman, but I can more than hear her every word. She’s touting this new product and that new product. This amazes me on several levels. 1. That people through means of technology have become so accustomed to talking that they actually can’t ever be alone. Every person sitting at this bar is either engaged in idle conversation with fellow strangers or are talking on their cell phone and 2. It occurs to me that the first thing that people talk about is their work, like it is their being. Ever notice how the first thing someone asks you in the city is “what do you do?” That is the conversation that I avoid like the plague, I can’t do that corporate bullshit. Wow, I must be really self indulgent because I usually just want to talk about myself.

Is Stating The Obvious Really So Bad?

I really had no intention of starting a blog today. I only stumbled upon this blog site because I was googling Taye Diggs wife Idina Menzel who fell through a trap door on the stage of “Wicked.” What is with all of the freaky trap door accidents of late? First of all, how long have they been doing this Broadway stuff, haven’t they mastered the trap door by now? And second, who knew being a Broadway star was so dangerous? Wait, I digress, back to my accidental blog. I figured that the site looked pretty cool so I would check out how it all works. I embarked on setting up a ‘fake’ blog, hence the blog name “Green Tea Makes You Pee,” and with one last click, low and behold it was up and running! I actually wanted to call it, “Green Tea Makes You Pee and Other Ridiculously Obvious Observations” because one of my favorite past times is pointing out the obvious, but that title wouldn’t fit in the small box that was provided. People always avoid pointing out the obvious but really sometimes it is very helpful. Take for instance today, I am on a crash diet this week due to the fact that I have to squeeze my “winterized” body into a small black cocktail dress this weekend for some stuffy banquet I have to attend, so I thought that I would drink some green tea which I have been told boosts your metabolism! NO ONE ever mentioned that it also makes you pee more than regular tea, something that I would have, quite frankly, liked to know before I got on the train this morning. AND, apparently EVERYONE knows that it makes you pee more, cause I mentioned to a handful of girlfriends that I accidentally named my blog this and they both exclaimed “but it does!” As if I was trying to disprove this fact! All the more reason to state the obvious, because sometimes, though you may think that everyone knows, they probably don’t.

One more obvious comment for the day, and then I have to go back to doing some serious “Integrated Marketing” which is what I do all day long. When I was setting up my ‘fake’ blog I listed my posting name as What? because I didn’t realize that I was really starting a blog, so for the time being I am going to remain anonymous although I am quite sure that I will leave some clues to my identity here and there. Maybe I should run a guess who I am promotion on my blog. Do you think my corporate bosses will count this as “integrated marketing” work since I am incorporating a promotional contest on it? I hope so cause I have already realized that this is really going to decrease my productivity here at work. Oh and I have to give my favorite friend CAT back home in California props for inventing What? Let it be known that she has perfected the delivery, a sort of sideways, eyes half closed perplexed look coupled with a tone of utter distain – the result is, with one word and a look you can say “what the hell were you thinking/doing and I now reserve the right to point and laugh hysterically.”

So there you have it, the accidental blog.

Enjoy!